Q & A with FiFi J.

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Q: Dear FiFi

How do I get in touch with my deeper self so as to change it and make it more attractive to members of the opposite sex?

Signed - 'Winona' 

email: whinny@greatbighobbyhorse.com

A: Dear Winona (Whinny)

OK So you want to get laid? Do Tantric Yoga. But the secret is to TELL EVERYONE you are doing tantric yoga, then sit back and watch the offers come in. Once you've mastered it, give me a call.

If that fails ... botox, plastic surgery, therapy ... Sweetie, the road to self fulfilment does not rely on validation from anyone else. You have to love YOU before anyone else will. Chances are there isn't that much to change, and anyway these days "shallow" is the new "deep".

FiFi Jx    - 13 Oct 04

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Q: Dear FiFi

I am a man and a sexual addict. I  had hoped that my sexuality would have dried up by now. But I'm feeling more creative and more extreme as I go along.  Sex four times a day is nice, but I really need to be more creative with my partner.  She is very sensible and has a great job and is the perfect 'trophy' girlfriend, but she doesn't want to be 'creative' any  more.  She says.. 'it was just a phase'.  Also, she goes to bed at 9 every night, while I am up until at least 1 or 2 'playing my trombone',  I'm thinking of a trip to the Far East, where I hear they really rock, but am also looking for intimacy.  I don't like one night stands.  Can you advise me?

Signed - 'Creative' 

A: Dear Creative,

You obviously need to get away from your "trophy" girlfriend with whom you are obviously not being allowed to live out your ultimate fantasies. The reason she goes to sleep at 9 is probably to AVOID them!

You don't need to travel to find someone - you just need to go on Ricki Lake or put an ad in the Idaho Bi Annual Review or something. Your "creativity" needs to be qualified though - is it rubber? clingfilm? puppies? You could disappoint thousands of "creative" women if all you want is a spank with a hairbrush or to pee on a newspaper...

Bye for now

FiFi J    - 4 Feb 04

Letter 6 Feb 04

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Dear Fifi
Reading your answer to the letter from sex addict 'Creative', I realize I too may be a sex addict.  When I met my boyfriend it was all green light and go.  The sex was plentiful, but the experimentation was limited.  He
seemed to favor penetration only sex, no oral and liked it best when I dressed up in stockings and fancy underwear.  I got really bored with this and tried to tempt him with my naked body into more involved foreplay.  That's when sex slowed to once a day, then once a week, then once a fortnight, then once a month.  Now it's about once a year.  We're really in love, really affectionate together and really very passionate without sex, if you can understand that.  He says he loves me and for a while suggested I take a lover if I'm feeling frustrated.  But this week he decided he didn't mean what he said and he'd have to kill us both if I went with someone else.  He seemed to like me most sexually and want me most sexually when he didn't really know who I was.  Now that he 'loves' me, he's not interested.  He's a born-again Christian, so I blame God.  Please help and tell me what I should do.  Should I take a lover? Should I leave what is an otherwise domestically happy situation, just because I'm so hungry for sex?  Should I forget about sex? Please Fifi,
tell me.

Signed: Miserable in Minnesota

Miserable,

Is your man a Taurean?
You need to take the bull by the horns and show him that there's more to life than charging through the field. Bulls can also drink deeply from the spring, frolick in the meadows, admire the primroses and chase butterflies. All of this was created by God to be enjoyed! You may find that he doesn't like primroses or prefers bluebells - this is okay. If he is in every other way your ideal bull, then it is worth making compromises - wear red and let him charge occasionally. By taking the time to guide him through the delights of nature, you both may discover hidden passions that create a new dynamic to your life. If all of this fails to arouse his animal instincts, put him out to pasture and go find yourself a ram.

Good luck

Fifi - 8 Feb 2004